What it means when I say “I’m American”
It occured to me when I had spent a recent weekend in Sweden, that I’m no longer sure what I am, or where I’m from. While I still have a habit of saying how we do things ‘at home’, although I moved out of mom’s house a year and a half ago, or similarly I may say ‘back home’, in which case I’m referring to America as a whole, it’s just not reality anymore. Home is now in Helsinki, in M-Kart (my pet name for Malminkartano, our district of town), where my kitties are, where my husband is, where my big-screen TV and counter-positioned waterbed reside. But can I realistically tell to anyone who asks, “I’m Finnish”, when I can’t even say it well in the native tongue? And how long must I live here, or what must I accomplish, before I can say that?
When I met people in Sweden, if they asked where I am from, I would naturally say, from America. But I’m not, or at least it seems like I’ve come from quite far away just to visit Sweden in that case. Am I giving the wrong impression? Or do I even have an impression of myself that I can relate to others without having to narrate a short novel?
When I lived in the States, if someone asked, I’d tell them I’m Polish and Italian, although I’ve only visited Poland once, and never stepped foot in my stomach’s homeland Italy. These pieces of me are becoming somehow lost, as the monocultural Finnish population lacks outward watered roots. And these pieces of me were strong, as my upbringing was guided by Polish traditions and Italian family affairs.
But I feel that what I’ve really taken with me from across the sea is a strong sense of Americanness, in that adjusting to the typical European customs is unnaturally difficult, and I refuse to adhere to the newness. Unadaptability must be an American trait of mine, especially adapting to a country of LESSNESS. Less variety, less options, less people, less cheeses, less activity, less responsibility, less opportunities. More taxes.
I can’t handle all the walking, and not being able to rely on a car. I’m winded walking to the bus stop. The nature is beautiful and full of insects that you’ll swallow if not careful. I still don’t understand recycling, how the fuck napkins are part of biowaste, and glass jars are often *not* recycled? It takes 3-5 attempts for me to open a door the right way. Making my own whipped cream from a box of cream is so much work! Bicycles are wobbly and strangely shaped, and still have pedal brakes. Cheese comes in a big, round trunk, which I have to shave in order to serve. The sun can not be counted on to guide my sleep, as sometimes it just doesn’t go away. Feet and legs are the same word in Finnish, so I never can picture what body part anyone’s talking about! You can’t wear shoes inside the house, although it’s always freakkin’ cold. There’s no Kraft Macaroni & Cheese! Marshmallows are colorful, braided loops, which certainly don’t roast properly. And Salmiakki…. this stuff is just a disgrace against our creators.
Next time, I won’t have to ponder this question. I’m American. I brought all of my intolerances and needinesses with me, and they’re likely to remain until time’s end. And if you doubt your own Americanness, or that these qualities pertain also to you, I challenge you to a year in Finland. Starting with Winter.
Audrey Beloit said,
September 1, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Hi, I’m american and I’m on my second visit to Finland,my first visit was from feb to may and now from august to nov. I still havent learned enough finnish to say a sentence! Its a very hard language,and i’m not sure I could live here full time. Its very hard when you cant understand a dam thing my boyfriend was born and raised here! I to think the hardest thing is adapting to the foods like the all most stale tasting bread, and the flavorless cheese,I actually brought parmesan cheese with me this time.lol I’m desparate to find out if there is some place that sells it! Cooking is more then a challenge it took me all most the whole first 3 months to find sour cream,he’s not even what id call a bad cook he doesnt cook at all and though he understands english quite well he doesnt know food items so we really knock heads in that area and since everything is so diferantly packaged its not easy to even reconize the foods you are looking for. So if you have any suggestions as to how to figure out what im looking for i’m all ears and would love to hear them! Just trying to make things a bit easier while away from home!
ladyenslain said,
July 11, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Hey! Just saw your comment, it was originally flagged as “spam” for some reason, oops… are you still trying to deal with this food-deprived land I now call home? I’ve been little by little finding coping strategies to overcome the total lacking of decent ingredients for sale. I’ve found that you have to go a little beyond the most basic ingredients that probably your Finnish boyfriend stocks his fridge with, and experiment with some more interesting things. Or then you need to saltify or flavorize every other available cheese to make it taste more like “real” processed American-style cheese. Surprisingly, once you know what to look for, most recipes can be pulled off (desserts are harder because mixes and additives are not much here, but we could all use a diet sometimes, right?) If there’s something particular you haven’t been able to find, maybe I know what it’s called or how to rig it out of existing ingredients. Of course, I still bring a suitcase full of food from every trip back home, but most of that is junk or convenience food for when I don’t have time to concoct something on my own. Like hangover days